Conan O'Brien's Exit Statement

Entering is so much nicer than exiting.

One of of your first days in out placement services, you attend workshops to finesse things like your resume, career objectives and more importantly, your exit statement if your position was redundant. They teach you Never to say the words “laid off”- the term “Laid Off” is apparently dirty words in the career placement world. To get around using this derogatory term they have you write up an exit statement and I was just thinking about what in the world Conan or his staff say about their job transitions.

Some sample Conan exit statements could be:

The recent reorganization of NBC’s late-night schedule has afforded me the opportunity to explore new options. With my record of entertaining mass amounts of viewers, connecting with the younger demographic and being funnier than my predecessor, my objective now is to locate a position as a host of my own show within a “sane thinking, business savvy” entertainment company.

As a result of the recent merger of “The Jay Leno Show” and ”Tonight Show Starring Conan O’Brien,” 200 positions were eliminated, including mine. I am now exploring opportunities that will take further advantage of my extensive late-night comedy experience, as well as my hosting and writing background, in the entertainment industry.

These work for me – feel free to use them any time Conan and good luck. Remember never to say “laid off” or terminated! Nor say that you are unemployed. You’re in transition.

Off to recite my exit statement,

Cindy