Honestly…|an honest take on the world of PR and other things by Cindy Ronzoni

I am a girl who has always loved to dance. I’ve twirled in my kitchen since I was knee high and begged either mom or dad to teach me how to waltz or swing dance well since that time.

Dancing always has represented happiness to me. I love it because the world and its stresses vanish for awhile when you’re lost in dance and swaying to the music.

The picture to the left is of me and my favorite dance partner, my dad. This photo is not the best quality, but it still is the most precious to me. It was taken at a church Father/Daughter Valentine’s Dance.

This was one church dance that I never had to beg someone to dance with me. Those near to me know that at this particular time, my dad’s Alzheimers was in full boar. Although, he may not have been able to tell anyone my name, he still knew I was his daughter and dance partner that night. I know the tune was one from his favorite artists, Frank Sinatra. Every Frank song that was played that night, we danced to.

This blog post is a result of a very interesting and insightful conversation I had last night with two of my closest guy friends who happen to be in the same boat as me. We’re still single and are involved in some fashion in single groups at church. I don’t quite remember how the topic came up, but I’m sure glad it did for these smart men solved a life-long mystery for me.

For you see, as I’ve stated, I just love to dance. I can dance to the beat. I can vary my steps and I just have fun. I am in no way an embarrassment if asked to dance. I may look like her, but I’m no Elaine Benes from “Seinfeld.” Here’s a clip from “Seinfeld” of Elaine’s infamous dance moves.

Now if I danced like that, I could definitely understand why men would turn me down for dances. But I don’t. I also have good hygiene. I dress appropriately and I can converse with anyone. But at church dances, I have a devil (pardon the pun) of a time convincing a guy to leave the wall for a dance!

This is a little bit more understandable when in junior high, but come on guys! We’re in our 40s now! Surely, you’ve gotten over your shyness, coolness, whateverness by now!

But this doesn’t only apply to church dance functions, but any function with dancing like weddings and work events. A couple months ago I was at my cousin’s wedding and guess who I ended up dancing with. My 8-year-old second cousins. At least they were boys. Mostly, I’m dancing with a large group of girls, because all the men are standing to the side-gawking or whatever they do when they aren’t dancing.

Thank goodness there are always are few guys that get it. They love to dance too. The problem is that all the girls who love to dance want to dance with these guys too. Often at dances I have a string of dances with one guy, but have to relinquish him up so another can have a dance too. These guys get it. They have fun the entire night and realize that on that night they get the cool chick because the cool guys who won’t dance don’t get to dance with her!

Anyway I was chatting about this with my buddies and they filled me in on the little secret about this. You ready for this. They told me that guys are afraid that if they dance with a particular woman who asks them to dance, that it will appear to the girl and to all at the dance that they might be interested in particular woman.

Okay, I’m willing to give a brother some slack here. I know that some members of my gender who ask you to dance may have googly eyes for you and it’s best not to lead them on. But, really, at our age - doesn’t a guy know how to not lead a girl on. I mean it’s only one dance. You dance and then you politely say thanks and go back to the wall. And if you can tell she likes you and you don’t like her, just say no the next time she asks. Is it really that hard. And if appearances are what you are concerned about - there’s a bigger issue you need to deal with - why do you can care so much about what others think.

I mean can you possibly tell me that one of your guy buddies will call you up the next day and say, hey man, you danced three dances with Sally. You must really like her! I hope that that wouldn’t happen and that people have more going in their life then memorizing your dance card.

And I guess I can’t exclude women in this post. When guys ask you to dance and you say “no” are you worried about appearances? This dancing thing definitely swings both ways.

But where I am coming from is that I just like to dance and I’d rather dance with men than a group of women. So when I ask a guy to dance I’m simply asking a guy to dance. I can assure you I don’t want to marry you or bear your children. I just want to dance. I want to blot out the problems of the day. Get a bit of exercise and perhaps make a new acquaintance. There’s nothing more, I’m sorry.

Now I have to admit that I have turned guys down for dancing. My reasons have mostly been two-fold. 1). The song was a slow-dance and I wasn’t comfortable dancing cheek to cheek with them. A fast dance is fine with them and I usually say come ask me later. But slow dances I’m a bit more selective about. And 2). Hygiene. Need I say more.

So I guess what I’m concluding is - guys get over it! Get off that wall and ask a girl to dance. Don’t wait for her. I’ll let you in on a little secret guys - 99 percent of us women all like to dance. We most likely won’t turn you down. We just want to be asked. It’s embarrassing for us to ask you and then when you turn us down-that’s not fun either. Give a girl a break. Look at all the cool guys that have been on “Dancing With the Stars.” Do you think Adam Carolla would have said yes if it wasn’t cool to do. Heck no.

Since all women like to dance - single and married men - start dancing. If your marriage is a bit lifeless, throw on a great tune, grab your wife and give her a twirl. You’ll see her get a big smile. And single guys start dancing. You have to get ready to teach your daughters how to dance when the time comes. You are her role model for the man she chooses to be her lifelong dance partner.

Don’t miss out guys. Get off that wall!

I’ll never forget any of my dances with my dad. When I’m in heaven one of the first things I’m going to do is find my dad and we’re going to dance for I know he will never say no.

One to Three Cha Cha Cha!